first chapter of Stellar Academy shenanigans

Sometimes you just have to write something even if it doesn't seem like anyone will read it. I'm a bit touchy about original characters in fanfiction, and yet it seems to me that I have begun something which is basically a space academy romance novel which just happens to feature Jim Hawkins as one of the leads. What I am actually trying to achieve is a Star Trek/Harry Potter Victorian naval AU written in the style of Robert Louis Stevenson. I reread Treasure Island and am reading Kidnapped! and Stevenson's Travels to get the flavour but as yet have only done about 3K.

( and here it is )

Reluctant to post on AO3 as this desperately needs a beta, and I am not sure who I can even ask. Should I get rid of the framing device? Is it 'Stevenson' enough? Can I convince people to care about Leigh and his problems? Any help or advice would be appreciated.