so guess what movie FINALLY came out in the UK...

[perevision]

Before I start, you have to know that Optimus Prime was my first cartoon crush ever; he also remains the biggest, all anime hotties aside (yes, even Eagle). If that kind of freaks you out, please avert your eyes now. Also, spoilers follow.


I loved this movie beyond all reason. Literally. Basically my brain shut down as my hormones screamed "PRIME OMG PRIME" through every second of the movie. Even when he wasn't on screen. And I completely ignored almost every problem of the movie, even the ridiculous supermodel-type geek/autohead girls. Such is the power of Prime.

LOVED the fakeout with the cube. Michael Bay owns my heart for that. AND the battle scenes, AND the mask actually being optional. Also, "What's with you?" helped me forgive "Oops, my bad."

They used his original voice you guys. I nearly peed myself. Especially when he said "eBay". ESPECIALLY when he said "Honey guns" "Megatron." and Megs answered "Sweet cheeks" "Prime." and then they ENGAGED like HOLY FUCK.

About the others...Poor Starscream, always the bitch. At least he got to survive. And Barricade was so perfect as the bad cop! "To punish and to enslave"...wow, verrry subtle XD His interrogation methods are spot on--not just as a Decepticon but an actual member of the police force, albeit one that gives the others a bad name. One might imagine him as being driven by that asshole cop from Dexter. And wow, Bonecrusher had such an awesome showdown--and managed to make Optimus look even better.

Ironhide is from Texas. He's a black GMC truck with a full arsenal--seriously, Texas. And wtf, Jazz. Your death could have been poignant if it hadn't involved two of the worst lines in the movie! Also, what's with the Autobots all being American cars? I can't wait for Autobots from other countries to start showing up: the Citroen C4 from France, the Jag S-type from Britain, the Merc MacLaren from Germany, a Maserati or Ferrari from Italy, a Koenigsegg for sure, maybe even a Swedish Skoda--and every single car from Initial D coming in from Japan. Sam stares at a bunch of Evos, Skylines, Mazda RX-7s and 8s, and Honda Civics of varying door number, and wonders how the hell to tell them apart. Maybe by their paint jobs.

Bumblebee was adorable, but I suspect him of taking an unhealthy interest in human mating habits. I mean, they were making out on his HOOD. With all the other Autobots watching. Only Optimus, who is a prince, kept his eyes averted during his little soapbox podcast, which more Decepticons than Autobots probably heard.

I love BB second best because he is slightly pervy, and because he is the most human, despite Jazz's Ebonics and Ironhide's NRA subscription. He's the one who has BEE-OTCH on his rearview mirror and pees on authority figures and makes little "cut it out guys!" hand gestures and provides soundtrack to Sam's love life (or lack of it). His capture, torture and traumatised freak-out on being released was so perfect and nowhere near as cheesy as I thought it would be. He's a little bit of an asshole, but has a heart of steel. Like Han Solo. But unlike Han Solo I wanted to hug him every time I saw him.


How awesome would it be if Transformers were on Top Gear? They could be guests: imagine having the Star AS A Reasonably Priced Car. Or one of them teaching the Stig what "oversteer" really feels like.

Comments

[sheldrake.livejournal.com]

Star AS A Reasonably Priced Car

Genius! That needs to be written!!! :)

[kali921.livejournal.com]

OMG, best review of the Transformers film I've read yet! It's been great reading what my UK friends have to say about the film.

I agree with most of what you wrote here. I was very uninterested in any of the human characters and TRES excited whenever Prime, Megs, etc. were on screen. Really, I was just in it for the non-stop parade of robot ass kickery, and I was NOT disappointed from that perspective.

There were some clunktastic lines in the script, to be sure. Jazz? Racist stereotyping much? On the other hand, I loved his capoeira fighting style.

[z107m.livejournal.com]

lol! I was always a bumblebee fan, despite his relative wimp factor. Guess his voyeurism only made me even more amused. (See how alike we are after all!) Am terribly pissed off he was no longer a vw bug, but amused that vw simply didn't want their car in a movie that condoned war and violence.

[bex-x3d.livejournal.com]

damn it! i thought there would be optimus prime yaoi after the lj cut;) x

[kurozukin-a.livejournal.com]

Eee Transformers. ^__^ Carlo and I watched it on opening day and the theater erupted at that "Megatron!" "Prime." scene. We really really need to watch it again.

[tinpan.livejournal.com]

omg im so in love with the movie....optimus daddy fetish! here's an interview with peter cullen: http://aboutheroes.com/content/2007/07/about_heroes_episode_63.php


lurrrrv!

[tinpan.livejournal.com]

btw my fanfic.net name is harlot of loyola...im gonna be updating my pervy starcsream fics there soon ;p

[tinpan.livejournal.com]

whats your fanfic name?

[tinpan.livejournal.com]

actually im working on an optimusxstarscream fic...shhhhhh

i totally understand the optimus prime obsession

[makibaka.livejournal.com]

i cried when he died in the first movie.

BUT BUT BUT !!!!! totally love the movie. i spent most of it with my mouth open. hahaha. oh oh and megatron was cool

(except for the i am megatron part we were laughing so hard, because it was like...i don't know decepticon amnesia)

oh oh, and remember in the second season when they brought prime back and he was eeevill? that broke my heart.

oh oh and baby come back! hahaha.